Flipside Flame 2009, Issue 7

Myth:

“Self-reliance” means that I have to do everything myself. Therefore, my needs and desires are the only ones that matter. I don’t need to consider the impact of my actions on others, because others are responsible for their own experience. It’s not my problem if it hasn’t happened to me.

Reality:

Self-reliance means taking care of yourself, making your own preparations, and being responsible for your experience. However, it’s absolutely OK to ask for help if you need a hand.

Likewise, let’s look out for each other with compassion and goodwill. Participate by helping your neighbor out, or telling a ranger if you see someone in need.

Myth:

All burners are good people who hold the same high values and standards, else they wouldn’t be in the community. I can trust everyone because everyone knows each other.

Reality:

Over 2000 people come to Flipside, from various cultural communities and backgrounds, running the gamut of philosophy, behavior, and geography. Long gone are the days when everyone knew each other. As with any group, not everyone is equally honest, trustworthy or “walks their talk.”

Diversity is wonderful but also means you can’t really assume or generalize about individuals- or their values and standards- without getting to know them.

Myth:

“Radical inclusion” means I’m invited to every party. Anyone who doesn’t invite me into their home is an elitist.

Reality:

Individuals choose to congregate based on their own rapport and history with each other, not out of social obligation. You don’t have to include anyone simply because s/he is “in the community.”

If you’re being an a-hole at someone’s event, home, or theme camp, people have the right to kick you out. If you’re a big enough a-hole, the Community can kick you out of the event.

Myth:

There’s no crime in the Flipside community, again because everyone has the same high standard of values.

Reality:

Flipside and community events are not immune to crime, and thefts and assaults can and do occur. Crime is NOT acceptable in our community. Local, county, state, and federal laws apply, and we cooperate fully with law enforcement. We will prosecute and hold people accountable for dangerous and harmful behavior. If you choose to disobey laws and policies, you take the consequences into your own hands.

Keep your wits about you and your eyes open. If someone or something doesn’t feel “right,” go with your instinct.

Myth:

The burn community at large is very “touchy feely” and I can touch anyone I want.

Reality:

NO. Some of us have known each other a long time and have rapports that include touch and affection. But this is not a free-for-all, and individuals have different physical boundaries that must be respected.

If you are interested in someone, start with a conversation with him or her. Ask before touching others and get verbal consent.

Myth:

Everybody in the Flipside community is polyamorous. There’s one standard “way” to practice polyamory (or monogamy) in the community.

Reality:

People’s romantic and sexual preferences are all over the map, including monogamy, polyamory, and beyond.  Relationship styles can be very individualized in that what works for one person or group may not work for another.

Again, the diversity of our population is so great, you can’t make any assumptions as to how “things are done” in various relationships. Communication and honesty are the keys to getting to know anyone.

Myth:

You’re not a “real burner” if you don’t have a burner name / smoke patchouli / drum naked / insert hippie or raver stereotype here.

Reality:

To be a “burner” has no technical requirement besides maybe having heard of Burning Man or Flipside, or knowing someone who has. Besides the basic rules of the event, and applicable local and federal laws, subcultural conformity is optional and the choice of each participant.

Myth:

Flipside is a big party thrown by a closed group of organizers. They have it all figured out and don’t need help. All I have to do is show up and party.

Reality:

Flipside’s planning team is an organic, flat organization of unpaid volunteers that thrives off of well thought out and constructive input. Help by offering ideas and action plans, not just criticism. Better yet, take the initiative yourself when something needs doing.

Volunteering is what it’s about.  As with any experience, it’s what you make of it. An active “participant” role will be more rewarding than a passive “spectator” role. This is an opportunity to contribute and create, and even small contributions can help. If everyone volunteered just one hour during the whole event, it’d be the best event ever.

Myth:

I disagree with how tickets are sold, camps are placed, effigies are burned, etc.

I can come up with a better way to do it, and I’m stepping in and taking over with my way of doing things.

Reality:

Absorb ideas from the people already involved before pushing your own agenda. Check your ego and assumptions at the door. Decisions that you may disagree with are still there because involve people solved a problem with them. Of course there can be more than one solution to a problem. Start by suggesting alternatives, and be prepared to earn brownie points by following through on your ideas.

Myth:

Discussions and “flame wars” on our e-mail lists are reflective of the larger community culture and should be taken very seriously.

Reality:

People on Flipside mailing lists are individuals with different personalities, moods, and styles of communication. Online communications such as emails are good only for content, not intent; and one person’s light, joking sarcasm can be another’s insensitive insult.

Read the lists with grains of salt. Take heated, personal discussions (a.k.a. “drama”) offlist; this isn’t high school.

Myth:

“Leave No Trace” is great for keeping the campsite clean, but back home in the city, I still throw my cigarette butts on the ground.

Reality:

“Leave No Trace” is not exclusive to Flipside. As inhabitants of Planet Earth we all continuously share the responsibility for maintaining our environment and managing scarce resources.  Be mindful of how much trash you produce, and clean up after yourself.

Myth:

“The only rule is there are no rules.”

(I actually heard this at Burning Man 2002.)

Reality:

There most certainly are rules. They’re outlined in the Survival Guide.

http://www.burningflipside.com/survivalguide2009.pdf

We aim to create a safe container for self-expression, but this is not a free-for-all, and consideration of others’ experience is expected.

Myth:

It’s just a party.

Reality:

The object of Flipside, besides fun, is to create a safe and respectful environment for self-expression and exploration, as well as art, performance, and spontaneity. Certainly, let your hair down, be yourself and have a great time, but know your limits and be respectful so that everyone can enjoy what they create.